Story Time: Introduction

I have trouble with documentation. Paperwork, especially, but also: I can never cite a reference in real time. I know stuff, but I forget where I heard it. Dumb stuff, too—stuff nobody needs to know, like I was once asked what country had the lowest birth-rate, and I knew it was Ireland, and that was true (at the time), but they also asked where I heard that, and I couldn't say. I remember now, where I heard it, but it doesn't matter anymore. The point is, documentation matters to some people, so you have to provide it, just in case somebody wants to refer to it later.

I want to tell you stories now. Very short stories. For documentation purposes, I guess. I don't expect anybody to read these, or be interested at all, other than that they may be humorous (in a way). It may be that the people they're intended for will read them, but that's not necessary either.

I claim now that they will be true stories, in a way, from my point of view, although they may be open to interpretation, when viewed from some other angle. I will not be providing those other angles: find those yourself if you feel so moved.

Some of the characters may be portrayed as idiots, or flaming evil, or some such. Again, my claim is that the stories are true, from my point of view. Some of the idiots will display flashes of brilliance, some of the evil flamers will have moments of clarity (if never actual goodness), so there is, eventually, that.

Cast of Characters:

• Frannie, leader of the cult and general antagonist.
• Chuckles, a minor and distant character, generally used as Frannie's Enforcer.
• Annie, first child and reputed "evil demon". That would be me.
• Mikey, second child and general hero of the cult.
• Andy, distant third child and cult mascot.

(Other occasional players: miscellaneous grandparents, Cousin Jeannie, a few male cousins and a couple of uncles, even.)

To be honest, none of the main characters is all that good, but only one of them actually started out evil and never got any better. The rest probably started out as decent people, but then went seriously downhill. I assert that Annie has actually improved over the years, although some opinions differ. At least I can laugh at most of this; none of the other characters can.

Once upon a time…